The Events of the Other night

I feel it is my obligation to clear up the events of Wednesday night and tell the whole story, however painful it may be to retell. I must warn you, it might be hard to read if you have a sensitive stomach, but is strange enough that it deserves at least a glance.

A few things up front: my dog likes to eat anything she finds on the ground. In particular, she'll eat poop. For those of you who pet her on a regular basis, we brush her teeth and she rarely gets it. Its a non-issue, really. Also, for the record, I'm okay. Seriously. I'm okay. No one got hurt.No burns or anything.

On Wednesday night Traci and I were walking Betsy when we got about a block away from our house. Betsy made a dive at something on the ground. I figured it was food or something because it was in the middle of the sidewalk. When this happens I normally just "flush the mouth" as termed by the American Red Cross and get whatever contents are in her jaws and throw it out. This time Betsy had poop in her mouth. Now, this isn't really an issue, either, because it's usually dried cat poop, which is also easy to get out. You just swipe a finger through, grab it and throw it. Then you wash your hands when you get home.

This time it was soft, fresh poop. And stinky. And it didn't come from a cat. It was in the middle of the sidewalk. It smelled like it from either a coyote or a human. It smelled pungent and wrong. I couldn't handle the fact that I had poop on my hands. If you are grossed out by this, imagine me standing there with it on my hands. I went a little mental. Traci took Betsy because I was trying not to throw up. I walked home to wash my hands.

At home I went into the bathroom and sprayed my hand with a counter cleaning agent, washed it with dish washing soap, used regular hand soap, tried some shampoo, and anything that could even remotely get the smell off and disinfect my hand. I seriously washed my hands for 20 minutes to make sure it was clean. Even though I knew it was gone, I still had to do it over and over. I was stuck in this compulsive rut to make sure my hands didn't have a single germ on them. Then I remembered the disinfectant hand gel in the closet and I thought it would be worthwhile to use it too.

So I used the hand gel and it smelled like alcohol. That set off a memory of me wondering if it was flammable. I thought I should check it out. I mean, I figured lighting it on fire would kill even more bacteria and be a really cool party trick for later. (A quick note: I don't consider myself a pyro, but I do like setting things on fire. I have burned my neck, hands, arms, and index toes over the years to prove just that. I have also burned off my eyebrows countless times, but only once intentionally.) It didn't seem too farfetched in my mental state to set the anti-bacterial gel on fire.

Up until now is just back story for my post. I slathered my hand with gel and set it on fire. It burned with a blue flame and didn't hurt. Pretty darn cool! I thought. The night wasn't turning out so bad after all. To put out the flame I shook my hand quickly and the flame went out. Unfortunately, some flaming gel also flew off my hand onto the shower curtain, unnoticed by me. I washed my hands off looking at myself in the mirror, smiling.

I was going to get into the shower at that point for one last wash of the hands when I noticed that my shower curtain was on fire and in flames. The curtain was paper thin and dry. The flame had caught and spread quickly. By the time I noticed it there was no subtly about it. About a fourth of the shower curtain was in flames and burning quickly. Well, I took that poop hand and started smacking the curtain. After the initial horror that I was going to set my apartment building on fire, I was able to get control over the flames and put it out. Not before ruining the shower curtain though.

When traci came back from the walk, I had to explain to her why the bathroom was smokey, there were ashes all over the place, the shower curtain was in the trash, and I was curled up into a ball crying. At least I forgot about the initial poop trauma!

Over and Out

Here's what I got. Its time to say goodbye again. I've found keeping a blog is one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. And although I'm ashamed of it, I find that I just don't have the time. I think...well I think that that is good.

Some quick updates before I'm off. I've run every day for the 348 days. I intend to stick it out until 1 year, then I will retire it like this blog. Its been quite an experience. I wish I could do it for the rest of my life, but my life is too dynamic right now to settle into this routine. Se la vie.

First semester of grad school is up and although I still have a year and a half with my current program, it will focus me on grad grad school, i.e., a phd. I am on my way to a phd, many years off that I don't want to think about, but my remaining electives in school will revolve around phd coursework.

I was told in the last semester that if this public policy "thing" didn't work out for me that I could always do stand up. I don't know public policy doesn't work out, but it was nice to have a fall back plan. I will also maintain a "book of funny" so if you ever visit, please look to see it. And if I happen upon your town in the future on a stand up circuit, remember that your laughter and joy must be coupled with my failure in public policy.

I humbly bow out and wish you all of the best. Keep moving those feet, keep singing those songs, and keep on keeping on.

well???

I have something to say

or at least i did. But I can't remember any longer. Now it just seems that there is... politics and economics.

But is the world more than that?? I say nay.

Okay, so there is this

I was thinking on my run yesterday:

The question "Who am I?" should be rephrased as, "What will I become if I stop?"

I'm just a bunch of string doubling as a ball of yarn folks.

eh

Grad School.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe8k89bSFQg&feature=related

To start my education off, I come back to Uni confused and open to new ideas

This sounds super cheesy, but hey. It is.

I started my undergraduate education bright eyed and willing to learn. An open canvas of sorts. Concepts and ideas were more important than the practical. After graduation and moving on, I must say, I've grown a bit more weary of ideas and philosophy. The real world plays a more crucial part in thought formulation than before.

With that said, I don't know how this is happening, but a number of elements in my life are converging to make me think I'm going to enter graduated school a bit more idealistic than I've been for years. Again, I didn't plan this, but I've read a bunch of socialist literature recently, including Upton Sinclair's book Oil! This praised socialism and the bolshevik revolution. I am now reading a book called supercapitialism that essentially lays into our current political and economic system of .democratic capitalism." The premise is that since the 1970's our country's economic model has grown to offer us more choices and opportunities, but at the expense of democracy. Pre-this-time, there were a limited number of company's that offered less choices and higher prices, but at the same time, ensured the welfare of most americans. I am also reading the current weekly Economist that is mourning the death of the intellectual due to specilization in knowledge, similar to market niches. Traci and I just finished the movie, "the lives of others" about Eastern Germany before the fall of the Berlin wall.

The point being, that I don't think I believe in our current system of government and the "free market" nor do I think there are other models of rule that are better that exist. I'm back into that fuzzy confused feeling of "teach me."

Ha.